| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|06:26 pm] |
live journal is about as cool as i was when i actually wrote in it.
which was clearly when i really cool.
it also makes me feel bad to read things i dont want to read.
live journal you still have the same ability to allow other people to write things
that piss me off. i commend you on that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|12:35 am] |
thank you chris conley- thank you
<3 saves the day |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|01:41 am] |
I haven't updated in forever... (thats such a typical way to start a random entry.)
Things have been really crazy and out of hand lately... but its almost comforting.
At the same time things are becoming really routine, and its time to mix things up.
In other news-- charlie and the chocolate factory was a huge dissapointment and I have a new phone which doubles as a switch blade.
 |
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| rape- science class- and heart attacks |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|11:52 am] |
I keep having these fucking awful nightmares everynight.
Rape
To dream that you have been raped, suggests a sadistic expression of sexual desire. You may be expressing an unconscious desire to be violated, conquered, or forced into forbidden territory. Some women have a desire to be sexually overpowered, but not hurt. It also indicates vengeful feelings toward the opposite sex. Alternatively, it suggests that you are feeling violated in some way. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. You feel that someone or something is being forced upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in their waking life.
ahahhah so if you want to violate me let me know lol, apparently it is an unconcious desire
Classroom
To dream that you are in a classroom, symbolizes that you may be learning an important life lesson
Heart Attack
To dream that you have a heart attack, refers to a lack of support and acceptance. Perhaps you also feel a loss of love.
Maybe my dreams make too much fucking sense, they scare me to death.
In other news I have brought back my love for wilco.
tarah |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
because im selfish enough to want to get better
but im backwards enough not to take any steps to get there
and when you realize its a pattern and not a phase
its what youve become and its what you will stay that's ball game
these NEXT FOUR WEEKS MIGHT BE THE DEATH OF ME |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|10:58 am] |
Over spring break- I made a mix cd of all "old" songs,from the past 3 or so years.
Jay and I listened to it while we were driving to RIC- and we started to talk about how each song had a specific memory that went along with it. Its truly fucking amazing when music can bring back a feeling, a time, a place- an image of someone or something.
Needless to say- I've been listening to all my fucking Get Up Kids cds today. I can safely say that every Get Up Kids CD reminds me of many specific times in my life.
to name a few-
- buying four minute mile in 10th grade, getting my liscense
- 10 minutes to downtown on the way to thayer st.
- red letter day during "shitty" times
- Eudora on the way to and from the beach
I know this seems fucking meaningless- but i had to write some of this down |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|11:10 am] |
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"Life is what you see right and left. Life is torture, pain of every kind - physical and mental - men and women are subjected to it equally. On the right wing you can see yourself trying to find your way in the darkness, lighting the hall and staircase with a miserable lamp, dragging along tied to you as a part of yourself, the corpse of your memories, of your wrongs and failures, the murder everyone commits at some time of his life - you can never free yourself of your past, you have to carry that corpse while Life plays the drum ." |
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| 1985 |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|10:46 am] |
it just so happes to be my birthday.
i plan on eating some mint chocolate chip icecream
All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here, the days pile up
With decisions to be made, I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse
And forget this wasted year, these wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And I'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's just like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things you can't fake
I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know
And there below
His frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can't believe that he's really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song and
I'm sorry about the phone call; and waking you.
I know that it is late,
But thank you for talking, because I needed to.
Some things just can't wait.
(Yeah, some things just can't wait) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|12:38 am] |
a poem by tarah k sutton:
spectacular coincidences
are indeed spectacular
like the time i huffed ready whip
with burgio
all night long
the high was so fantastic
like bert from the used
but not that fantastic or spectacular
i love spices
spices like pepper
ginger
they make food taste yummy
in my mother fucking tummy
salt and pepper want to talk about sex baby
i am delirous
i like coffee
i do not like tea anymore
the tea trade was splendid so i heard
but thats okay
gemma has to pass a turd |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|08:57 pm] |
"Now, I'm running out faster
Than I ever have before
And I'm seeing double
And everywhere I turn my head
Things look like you again"
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|02:20 am] |
i'm an obsessive thinker- i wish i could just shut down for a day
its always way too fucking late to say what I need to say
what ifs- what ifs- what ifs |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|10:42 pm] |
I am in such a rut. I've been trying way too hard. Some things aren't meant to happen and I fucking hate it when things are beyond my control. This time I feel like its my fault, I haven't got a chance thats for sure.
I truly need to pick myself up from this fall.
"Well the clock’s heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself.
But I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who left theres a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid." |
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| my mom sent me tea and sugar free candies<3 |
[Mar. 9th, 2005|12:11 pm] |
Thirteen random things you like:
1. teas
2. gum
3. jeans that fit
4. low carb diets
5. hair cuts
6. design
7. fucking music
8. rhode island
9. vacations
10. magazines
11. cutting up magazines
12. baked goods
13. pens
Twelve movies:
1. coffe and cigarettes was the last movie i rented
2. in good company was the last movie i saw at the theatre
3. my favorite movie is high fidelity
4. say anything
5.empire records is a staple
6. garden state
7.footloose
8. napoleon dynamite is becoming boring-- yes i said it
9. everytime i turn on HBO that woody allen movie with christina ricci and jason biggs is on i really like that movie
10. igby goes down
11. my white stripes dvd
12. i like shuan of the dead of a lot becuase its bloddy and i cant actually watch it
Eleven good bands/artists:
1. bright eyes
2. cursive
3. jump little children
4. the decemerists
5. beck
6. ben kweller
7. my chemical romance
8. saves the day
9. rufus
10. van morrison
11. radiohead
Ten things about you ... physically:
1. i have brown hair
2. green eyes
3. shortness
4. small hands
5.chicken legs
6. i dont smile a lot ha
7. i have mouth
8. a nose
9. two ears
10. and 2 feet
Nine good friends (in no particular order):
1. gemma
2. jay
3. chris
4. lia
5. my dad
6. liz
7.nicole
8. michela
9.__________ your name here
Eight favorite foods/drinks:
1. fucking cake cause i cant eat it
2. little necks
3. fucking fries cause i cant eat them either
4. fucking bread cause its not low carb
5. pasta--- see above
6. wine
7. watermelon sour patch kids
8. string beans
Seven things you wear daily:
1. underwear
2. jeans
3. shoes
4. rings
5. bra
6. ummm earrings
7. a jacket
Six things that you did today:
1. went to illustration
2. made eggs
3. had tea
4.got a package from ym mom
5. listened to ben kweller
6. chewed some gum
Five things you thought about today:
1.
2.
3. i dont think
4.
5.
Four things you're doing right now:
1.lisnteing to ben kweller
2. drinking more tea
4. chewing gum
3.thinking about al the shti i have to do
Three people who usuall call you
1 my dad
2. Jay
3. pete gray when he is intoxicated ha |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|10:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the used. | ] |
" i guess fear has a way of making sleep unbearable
and the days seem dark and long
but we cry and we dance and we stumble into love with perfect, awkward grace "
this is terrible. im such a fucking idiot, i should have known. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|11:40 am] |
So this weekend (friday), I will be making my return to RI. It has been 6 whole weeks since I have been home, and I really need a break from all of this.
In other news-
-my throat really hurt earlier this week-- but its going away thank god.
-i have scanned some negatives last night... i shall post some later on today i hope
- tonight i am going to say "say anything" at the knitting factory, and im really excited once again to get out of this environment called Pratt.
I've been doing way to much work, I have given up on my social life for the most part. I have been uninterested in everything lately besides doing work.
CALL ME THIS WEEKEND-- I WILL HAVE NO CAR AND NEED SOME FRIENDS!
-<3 T
PS SOUTH BEACH FUCKING SUCKSSSSSSS BUT IT WORKS |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|02:36 am] |
Just got back from being out way too long for my own good. I seriously do not know what is causing me to feel so god damn miserable lately. I get so bored with everything so fast, and all I can focus on is doing work.
I feel no need what so ever to engage in any social activites lately, I'm a huge downer, and I am totally aware of this. It's so discouraging.
- im home sick
- im fucking so lonely
- im terribly anxious
- and fucking lame
i find myself so unintersted in people around here lately, its so awful to say that.
i need some fucking warm weather
oh- and fuck you |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|05:28 pm] |
i love when it snows.
i miss home a lot, a real real real lot. im not sure if i should, but i do.
i am sitting in my room watching the snow- drinking coffee- and listening to saves the day
i miss you all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2005|12:10 am] |
we're moving forward, but holding ourselves back
and we're waiting on something that will never come |
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