kill the cliche.

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 22:28:16 GMT

live journal is about as cool as i was when i actually wrote in it.

which was clearly when i really cool.

it also makes me feel bad to read things i dont want to read.

live journal you still have the same ability to allow other people to write things
that piss me off. i commend you on that.

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 04:38:53 GMT

thank you chris conley- thank you

<3 saves the day

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 05:43:07 GMT

I haven't updated in forever... (thats such a typical way to start a random entry.)

Things have been really crazy and out of hand lately... but its almost comforting.
At the same time things are becoming really routine, and its time to mix things up.

In other news-- charlie and the chocolate factory was a huge dissapointment and I have a new phone which doubles as a switch blade.

rape- science class- and heart attacks

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 16:02:38 GMT

I keep having these fucking awful nightmares everynight.

Rape

To dream that you have been raped, suggests a sadistic expression of sexual desire. You may be expressing an unconscious desire to be violated, conquered, or forced into forbidden territory. Some women have a desire to be sexually overpowered, but not hurt. It also indicates vengeful feelings toward the opposite sex. Alternatively, it suggests that you are feeling violated in some way. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. You feel that someone or something is being forced upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in their waking life.

ahahhah so if you want to violate me let me know lol, apparently it is an unconcious desire

Classroom

To dream that you are in a classroom, symbolizes that you may be learning an important life lesson

Heart Attack

To dream that you have a heart attack, refers to a lack of support and acceptance. Perhaps you also feel a loss of love.

Maybe my dreams make too much fucking sense, they scare me to death.

In other news I have brought back my love for wilco.

tarah

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 03:10:45 GMT

because im selfish enough to want to get better
but im backwards enough not to take any steps to get there
and when you realize its a pattern and not a phase
its what youve become and its what you will stay that's ball game

these NEXT FOUR WEEKS MIGHT BE THE DEATH OF ME

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 14:59:08 GMT

Over spring break- I made a mix cd of all "old" songs,from the past 3 or so years.

Jay and I listened to it while we were driving to RIC- and we started to talk about how each song had a specific memory that went along with it. Its truly fucking amazing when music can bring back a feeling, a time, a place- an image of someone or something.

Needless to say- I've been listening to all my fucking Get Up Kids cds today. I can safely say that every Get Up Kids CD reminds me of many specific times in my life.

to name a few-

- buying four minute mile in 10th grade, getting my liscense

- 10 minutes to downtown on the way to thayer st.

- red letter day during "shitty" times

- Eudora on the way to and from the beach

I know this seems fucking meaningless- but i had to write some of this down

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 16:12:24 GMT

"Life is what you see right and left. Life is torture, pain of every kind - physical and mental - men and women are subjected to it equally. On the right wing you can see yourself trying to find your way in the darkness, lighting the hall and staircase with a miserable lamp, dragging along tied to you as a part of yourself, the corpse of your memories, of your wrongs and failures, the murder everyone commits at some time of his life - you can never free yourself of your past, you have to carry that corpse while Life plays the drum ."

1985

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:47:35 GMT

it just so happes to be my birthday.

i plan on eating some mint chocolate chip icecream

All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here, the days pile up
With decisions to be made, I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse
And forget this wasted year, these wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And I'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's just like breathing and not wanting to
There are some things you can't fake
I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know
And there below
His frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can't believe that he's really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song and
I'm sorry about the phone call; and waking you.
I know that it is late,
But thank you for talking, because I needed to.
Some things just can't wait.
(Yeah, some things just can't wait)

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 05:41:17 GMT

a poem by tarah k sutton:

spectacular coincidences
are indeed spectacular
like the time i huffed ready whip
with burgio
all night long

the high was so fantastic
like bert from the used
but not that fantastic or spectacular

i love spices
spices like pepper
ginger
they make food taste yummy
in my mother fucking tummy
salt and pepper want to talk about sex baby

i am delirous
i like coffee
i do not like tea anymore

the tea trade was splendid so i heard
but thats okay
gemma has to pass a turd

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 02:13:20 GMT

"Now, I'm running out faster
Than I ever have before
And I'm seeing double
And everywhere I turn my head
Things look like you again"

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 07:22:07 GMT

i'm an obsessive thinker- i wish i could just shut down for a day

its always way too fucking late to say what I need to say
what ifs- what ifs- what ifs

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 06:53:33 GMT

I am in such a rut. I've been trying way too hard. Some things aren't meant to happen and I fucking hate it when things are beyond my control. This time I feel like its my fault, I haven't got a chance thats for sure.

I truly need to pick myself up from this fall.

"Well the clock’s heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself.
But I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who left theres a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid."

my mom sent me tea and sugar free candies<3

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 17:38:42 GMT

Thirteen random things you like:
1. teas
2. gum
3. jeans that fit
4. low carb diets
5. hair cuts
6. design
7. fucking music
8. rhode island
9. vacations
10. magazines
11. cutting up magazines
12. baked goods
13. pens

Twelve movies:
1. coffe and cigarettes was the last movie i rented
2. in good company was the last movie i saw at the theatre
3. my favorite movie is high fidelity
4. say anything
5.empire records is a staple
6. garden state
7.footloose
8. napoleon dynamite is becoming boring-- yes i said it
9. everytime i turn on HBO that woody allen movie with christina ricci and jason biggs is on i really like that movie
10. igby goes down
11. my white stripes dvd
12. i like shuan of the dead of a lot becuase its bloddy and i cant actually watch it

Eleven good bands/artists:
1. bright eyes
2. cursive
3. jump little children
4. the decemerists
5. beck
6. ben kweller
7. my chemical romance
8. saves the day
9. rufus
10. van morrison
11. radiohead

Ten things about you ... physically:
1. i have brown hair
2. green eyes
3. shortness
4. small hands
5.chicken legs
6. i dont smile a lot ha
7. i have mouth
8. a nose
9. two ears
10. and 2 feet

Nine good friends (in no particular order):
1. gemma
2. jay
3. chris
4. lia
5. my dad
6. liz
7.nicole
8. michela
9.__________ your name here

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
1. fucking cake cause i cant eat it
2. little necks
3. fucking fries cause i cant eat them either
4. fucking bread cause its not low carb
5. pasta--- see above
6. wine
7. watermelon sour patch kids
8. string beans

Seven things you wear daily:
1. underwear
2. jeans
3. shoes
4. rings
5. bra
6. ummm earrings
7. a jacket

Six things that you did today:
1. went to illustration
2. made eggs
3. had tea
4.got a package from ym mom
5. listened to ben kweller
6. chewed some gum

Five things you thought about today:
1.
2.
3. i dont think
4.
5.

Four things you're doing right now:
1.lisnteing to ben kweller
2. drinking more tea
4. chewing gum
3.thinking about al the shti i have to do

Three people who usuall call you
1 my dad
2. Jay
3. pete gray when he is intoxicated ha

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 03:20:27 GMT

" i guess fear has a way of making sleep unbearable
and the days seem dark and long
but we cry and we dance and we stumble into love with perfect, awkward grace "

this is terrible. im such a fucking idiot, i should have known.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 16:45:04 GMT

So this weekend (friday), I will be making my return to RI. It has been 6 whole weeks since I have been home, and I really need a break from all of this.

In other news-
-my throat really hurt earlier this week-- but its going away thank god.
-i have scanned some negatives last night... i shall post some later on today i hope
- tonight i am going to say "say anything" at the knitting factory, and im really excited once again to get out of this environment called Pratt.

I've been doing way to much work, I have given up on my social life for the most part. I have been uninterested in everything lately besides doing work.

CALL ME THIS WEEKEND-- I WILL HAVE NO CAR AND NEED SOME FRIENDS!

-<3 T

PS SOUTH BEACH FUCKING SUCKSSSSSSS BUT IT WORKS

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 07:40:27 GMT

Just got back from being out way too long for my own good. I seriously do not know what is causing me to feel so god damn miserable lately. I get so bored with everything so fast, and all I can focus on is doing work.

I feel no need what so ever to engage in any social activites lately, I'm a huge downer, and I am totally aware of this. It's so discouraging.

- im home sick
- im fucking so lonely
- im terribly anxious
- and fucking lame

i find myself so unintersted in people around here lately, its so awful to say that.

i need some fucking warm weather

oh- and fuck you

the past week in pictures

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 19:05:26 GMT

the reactions from marc and gemma when certain images appeared on my laptop

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 22:30:38 GMT

i love when it snows.
i miss home a lot, a real real real lot. im not sure if i should, but i do.

i am sitting in my room watching the snow- drinking coffee- and listening to saves the day

i miss you all.

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 05:15:23 GMT

we're moving forward, but holding ourselves back
and we're waiting on something that will never come

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 04:55:52 GMT

what is my deal. i have honestly lost sense of everything. i do not think its my fault this time. i place the blame on someone else, its really easier that way. for now let art be hard. and let me be drunk,as i am now.

pad thai

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 18:54:06 GMT

I have kissed someone...
*bold all that apply*

on the cheek.
on the lips.
on their hands or fingers.
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair.
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
with straight hair.
bigger/taller than me. that would be everyone--- unless i encounter some midgets
with a lip ring.
who was drunk.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual.
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday.
who was going out with someone else.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std. oh most def i love stds
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.
eskimo style.

heres one more

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 19:55:23 GMT

hahahhah

oh fuck

how old is sean? thats the question

who is that fellow in the background?

ahahha

i blame nate powers for this picture ahhahaha

round 2

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 19:45:52 GMT

what the fuck seriously lia- we are lamecore ha

nice hair sean.

FROBELLL

JEREMY!

fucking suprise

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 19:35:38 GMT

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 05:49:05 GMT

i am so bored that it's starting to hurt
- i guess i have a hard time doing nothing all day. Tv is not entertaining at all. Neither is watching Win a Date With Tad Hamilton.

- i'm lonely so call me and befriend me.

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 15 songs that play

1- Rufus Wainwright- Natasha
For you i sit alone on the cozy ground floor
on a bench by the garden
waiting also
waiting for love and thinking of all of the
catty remarks I also swallow

2- Saves The Day- Third Engine
Did you know, my sweet
That I once took the liberty of watching you in your sleep?
I rolled over and over
Trying to touch your knees underneath the sheets
I just want you to know that every pool of water reminds me of you
Is that all right?

3-The Beatles- Hey Jude
And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

4- Counting Crows- Round Here
she knows she's more than just a little misunderstood, she has trouble acting
normal when she's nervous.

5- My Chemical Romance- Give em' Hell Kid
Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say
We are young and we don't care.
Your dreams and your hopeless hair.
We never wanted it to be this way.
For all our lives.
Do you care at all.

6- Thursday- signals over air
when you say my name,
i want to split it from your lips
and hide like whispers in the rain.
when you say my name,
i want to stop it in your lungs
and collect all of your blood to put in the radio.

7- Something Corporate- Only ashes
iece by piece, and bit by bit
i'll break this down for you, real slow
but i can't whisper all of this
and i can't seem to let this go

8- Beck- pink Noise ( rock me amadeus)
he tortures! the torment! pink noise! delicious!
the danger! the victims! demeanin'! religion!

9- Greenday- Jaded
Count down from 9 to 5
Hooray! We're gonna die!
Blessed into our extinction

10- saosin- 3rd measurement in C
Don’t say that I’m the one you want to lose
Don’t say that I’m the one you want to lose
Don’t say that I’m the one you want to lose

11- Ryan Adams- Give me a Sign
And I was breathless on a Sunday morning
And I was speechless on a Sunday night
For a lack of better understanding

12- Greenday- Misery
The emptiness will fill your soul with sorrow
Because it's not what you make it's what you

13- Modest Mouse- Never Ending Math Equation
I'm the same as I was when I was 6 years old
And oh my God I feel so damn old
I don't really feel anything

14- Radiohead- how to disapear completly
In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here

15- alkaline trio- another innocent girl

its way too easy to fake this smile lead you on
Maybe I'm wrong but everyone gets bored once in awhile

i am a huge waste of time.